I wanted to love this movie. I really did. And I thought I would. Why?

  • The makers of Pineapple Express—director and two actors.
  • Danny McBride, hilarious in Pineapple Express and in Tropic Thunder
  • A funny looking trailer

I was kind of hoping for a mix between Pineapple Express and Year One but set in the middle ages. Unfortunately, this movie couldn’t be further from either one.

The basic premise is that there are two brothers (played by McBride and Franco). Both are princes. Franco finds his true love but she is kidnapped by an evil warlock on his wedding day. He then goes on a quest with McBridge and their sidekicks to save the princess. They run into trouble (and Natalie Portman) on the way and McBride—the loser of the two brothers—has to step up to the plate and become a hero. You could pretty much figure this out from watching the trailer. I wasn’t expecting a complicated story. So my problem isn’t with the basic plot. My problem is with everything between.

Every joke is about dicks, masturbation or drugs, as if the movie was written for hormone-riddled teenagers who find this funny. Although even as a teenager I would find most jokes outright stupid. And don’t get me wrong—I enjoyed Superbad, which is vulgar. There is a scene where the main characters have to visit some wise hermit (who looks like a student SFX project for Alice in Wonderland’s Caterpillar) and by the end of it they give him a hand job. I’m guessing the writers thought this was funny. It wasn’t. It wasn’t even cringe worthy. It was just plain—WTF? Jokes of this vein are riddle through the movie.

Even some of the better jokes in the trailer weren’t as good in the film. There’s one scene in the trailer where the warlock says “I live in a castle and I do magic.” It’s classic! I laughed every time I saw it in the trailer. Yet in the film, he says he has many riches, lives in a castle and does magic and this is why girls like him (paraphrased). The beauty of the original line said by a warlock as a summary of his existence is entirely lost.

The other thing that ruined the film was that every character tries to talk in an English accent. Although I use the word “tries” very loosely. Ewan McGregor’s American accent in The Island sounds more English than the accents in this movie. It would have been far better had they simply not used the accents. I read a review where someone had compared this movie to the Inbetweeners. Not a chance. The Inbetweeners has English actors not trying to simulate another accent. Oh, and one other thing—the Inbetweeners was actually funny.

By the end of the movie, both my wife and I (who were avidly waiting for this movie’s DVD release) were entirely disappointed. I had just wasted $14 buying it. And two hours watching it.

My suggestion for anyone who wants to see this movie: Watch the trailer—you’ll have seen every funny scene in the movie. Then go watch another movie.